The transcript of the whole thing was released Wednesday morning. I went through it and pulled out the, uh, best(?) lines. They’re below.
1. “This group gets bigger and bigger. This is a big group by any standard. This is like the Academy Awards used to be before they went political.”
Trump is talking here about the number of reporters waiting for him and wanting to ask questions. And yes, of course, he a) notices and b) cares. For all his rhetoric about the “fake news,” no president has ever cared more about the media and how it covers him than this one. Oh, also, FYI: The Academy Awards are still good! And away we go!
2. “We’ll have absolutely no problem at the border. We’ll clean it up very quickly.”
Well, I’m satisfied! What’s next?
3. “I mean, look, Joe never got more than 1%, except Obama took him off the trash heap, and now it looks like he’s failing.”
4. “I have to tell you, he’s a different guy. He looks different than he used to. He acts different than he used to. He’s even slower than he used to be.”
5. “My poll numbers are great.”
6. “The crime was by the Democrats, folks. They’ve committed, in my opinion, many crimes.”
In any normal presidency, this would be a news story for a week. The President of the United States accusing the opposition party of committing “many crimes”!??! Without evidence, to boot! But because Trump says things like this — again, with zero evidence — all the time, it barely causes a ripple.
7. “My poll numbers have been very, very good.”
8. “I think [Biden is] the weakest, mentally. And I like running against people that are weak, mentally.”
9. “The farmers are my best friend.”
10. “Nobody has treated the farmers better than Donald Trump.”
Nobody uses third person more than Donald Trump. Trust Chris Cillizza on this one.
11. “But here’s the agreement. It’s a very simple agreement. This is one page. This is one page of a very long and very good agreement for both Mexico and the United States.”
12. “So, Mexico, we’re getting along with them great.”
13. “I just give you my word inside here. And I would love to do it. But you will freeze-action it. You will stop it. You will analyze it. Every single letter you’ll see.”
Trump is talking about the single sheet of folded paper again. You know the “very simple” but also “very long” and did I mention secret part of the Mexico trade deal that Mexico says doesn’t exist.
14. “They are guilty of many crimes. Many, many crimes — what they’ve done. They’re guilty of many, many crimes.”
15. “So right here is the agreement. It’s very simple. It’s right here. And in here is everything you want to talk about. Done. It’s done. It’s done. It’s all done.”
16. “Joe Biden thought that China was not a competitor of ours.”
17. “[Nancy Pelosi] made a horrible statement while I was with the Queen of England, while I was with — while I was with the President of France. And you’re not supposed to do that. OK?”
18. “Companies are leaving China right now and they’re coming here because they don’t want to pay the tariffs. And they’re going to other countries.”
19. “I’ve created something — what we’ve done in the last two and a half years, we’ve picked up $14 trillion in net worth of the United States.”
20. “I won Iowa by a lot the last time. Usually a Republican would not win it by that much.”
This is true! Trump won Iowa by 9 points in 2016. Republicans hadn’t won the state at the presidential level prior to that since 2004 when George W. Bush eked out a win over John Kerry by .6 percentage points.
21. “I have a great relationship with the farmers. I have a great relationship with everybody.”
So, are the farmers still your best friend? Or is this “everybody” the new thing?
22. “Iowa, I think, is going to be something that we win very easily.”
23. “I saw a fake poll — a suppression poll in Pennsylvania. I even saw one in Texas. They’re suppression.”
What Trump is suggesting here is that polling that shows him running behind in places like Pennsylvania in Texas are made up in an effort to keep his supporters from turning out. That’s not true, of course. It also makes zero logical sense since the election is 17 months away.
24. “We’re going to win Texas by a lot. We’re going to win Iowa by a lot. We’re going to win, I would say, every — Pennsylvania, I think we’re going to do very well.”
25. “I just received a beautiful letter from Kim Jong Un, and I think the relationship is very well.”
26. “But I just received a beautiful letter from Kim Jong Un. I can’t show you the letter, obviously, but it was a very personal, very warm, very nice letter.”
Me in 8th grade: “I DO SO have a girlfriend. She’s a model and she totally loves me. You can’t meet her. She lives in Montana. She writes me every day. But the letters are private.”
27. “I think North Korea has tremendous potential.”
Trump on North Korea: Huge upside. Very rangy. Plays beyond its years. Good teammate.
28. “Quiet. Quiet. Quiet.”
Just the President shouting down a reporter who is trying to ask a question! Nothing to see here folks! All A-OK!
29. “So we get 90% of our drugs coming in through the southern border, which I think everyone pretty much agrees too.”
30. “And again, the letter he sent was a beautiful letter. It was a very warm letter.”
If we are talking about warm and beautiful letters, this one is right at the top. Many people are saying it. Bigly.
31. “So Iran has got a lot of problems, and I’d like to help them with those problems. We’ll see what happens.”